Courtship: Out with the Old and In with the New?

COURTSHIP: 
Out with the Old 
and 
In with the New?





A Research Paper Presented to

The English Resource Center

School of Multimedia Arts

Asia Pacific College

Magallanes, Makati

In Partial Fullfilment

of the Requirements for the Course

ERESWRT – Research Writing

Chaira Kaye S. Matias

April 2014

Chapter 1

Introduction

A. Background of the Study

Nowadays, most suitors use technology - such as text messaging and social networking sites, as a way to communicate to the person they admire. They think that it would be easier for them to talk to the person they like.

Christian Swertz wrote an article entitled "Courtship Patterns in the Information Age". He stated that the usage of technology in courtship is far and wide and is better than oral communication. 

He said that "The transmission of the information in space is fast compared to books or oral communication." (http://www.medienimpulse.at/articles/view/474)

Similarly, online dating is also one of the most frequently used as an instrument in finding your "true love" or partner in life. Since the world is now influenced by technology, there is a greater chance that an individual can find his or her other half. 

A Forbes staff, Jeff Bercovici, wrote an article entitled "Love On The Run: The Next Revolution In Online Dating" stating about the significance of online dating sites which enables individuals in finding their said to be soul mates. He also stated that there is an increasing amount of users and the weeks leading to February 14 were marked as the busiest time of the year for the online dating services.

He said that "What they want is an easier and faster way  to meet them IRL — in real life." (http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffbercovici/2014/02/14/love-on-the-run-the-next-revolution-in-online-dating/)

Some couples did not undergo courtship because they believed that their mutual feelings and understanding are enough to be in a relationship. 

An article written by Douq Lassen Anderson entitled "Mutual Understanding: What is it and what is it not?" states the definition of mutual understanding between two individuals. It supports the idea of having a relationship founded by means of voicing out what they feel for each other which enables them to pursue their feelings and be ready for commitment.

He said that "Some allow the feeling to nourish for some time until they see it appropriate to commit. It can wither away if the individuals get separated for some time or may lead to a deeper commitment. Individuals find this feeling titillating. Both are in for a surprise of what will happen next or where will the fondness of each other take them." (http://ezinearticles.com/?Mutual-Understanding:-What-Is-It-and-What-Is-It-Not?&id=6393987)

As time passes by, through additional understanding, even women may court the person she likes or admires. Modernization allowed the women to realize that they, too, can do courtship especially when they have the intense feeling towards the guy they like.

An article written by Natalie Brown entitled "Why Girls Shouldn't Wait For Guys To Make The First Move" stating that girls should not be aggressive in making their first move that includes asking a guy out instead, they should possess a positive attitude towards the guy they like. 

She said that "Do what you want to do, and what feels right to you. I’m all for making the first move (obvs), but if you really truly completely think that he absolutely must be the one to strike the match, then that is okay... You’re smart, you have common sense. Trust yourself. It’s okay if you make the first move, and it’s also okay if you prefer to insist on waiting for that cute guy who just smiled at you to walk across the room and talk to you." (http://www.sheckys.com/2013/04/15/why-girls-shouldnt-wait-for-guys-to-make-the-first-move/)

In addition, a blogger, Stephanie Lee, caught the researcher's attention by stating in her post that "Life is too short to wait around forever." 

Notwithstanding the advantages of modernization in courtship, the researcher observed that there are also disadvantages under this study. There are lots of changes over time as the world revolves around the sun. Changes that may occur in every individual that will affect their behavior and how they communicate to other people.

The focus of this paper is to inform the readers about the disadvantages of the usage of modern technology in courtship. 

B. Statement of the Problem

This study aims to answer this question:

1. What are the disadvantages of modern courtship? 

C. Significance of the Study

Women. This study would help women realize that they can also implement courtship towards men. 

Men. Knowledge of this study will allow men to find their partner in life through different effective ways that has been stated.

Couples experiencing misunderstandings. This study may improve the relationship of a couple by showing them what is lacking and unduly in their relationship.

Future Researchers. They can use the information provided by this study to serve as a reference for their future research.



D. Scope and Delimitation

This study focuses on the advantages and disadvantages of the usage of modern technology in courtship. Courtship has been used in different ways as of now because of the influence of modernization. Moreover, comparison of the modern courtship and the traditional style of courtship will be included for further information about the advantages and disadvantages of the said topic.

This study will not conduct a discussion about what will happen after getting a "yes" from the person you are courting because it is not covered by the topic the researcher will be conversing.



E. Materials and Methods

The information gathered by the researcher were provided by the articles that can be found online and psychological, scientific, and cultural studies from her previous blog posts. 

The researcher also provided an outline to serve as her guide in making this paper.



F. Definition of Terms 

1.) Courtship - A period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship, esp. with a view to marriage.

2.) Modernization - The process whereby a society is transformed from a rural and agrarian state to an industrialized, secular, urban society. 

3.) Online Dating - The practice of searching for a romantic or sexual partner on the Internet, typically via a dedicated website.

4.) Social Networking - The use of dedicated websites and applications to communicate informally with other users, or to find people with similar interests to oneself.

Chapter 2

DISCUSSION

What are the disadvantages of modern courtship?

I. Definition of Modern Courtship

As time goes by, everything in the world undergoes a change. For instance, in courtship, people nowadays, prefer to use technology as a way to court or to get to know someone special such as online dating and text messaging. 

An article is written by Sarahgat entitled "Courtship in the Philippines Today". The author states there that online dating, online courting, and mobile courting or texting are more convenient to imply in communication to the people they want to talk to. It also stated that the change in society became rapid as humans maximize the use of technology. This is very obvious in the lifestyle portrayed by westerners who have well developed information technology systems and industries.

Sarahgat said that "These advancements due to technology make our life easy at the same time fast-phasing and due to these reasons, it seems like everyone should incline to the rush so that people should not left be behind." 

(http://sarahgats.wordpress.com/2009/03/29/courtship-in-the-philippines-today/)

II. Difference of Traditional Courtship from the Modern Courship

Imagine how it feels to be serenaded by someone. Some may feel the feeling but some cannot. Why is that so? An article that the researcher found can help in explaining the reason behind this situation. 

A. Tradition

There were several ways of courtship in the past. In the Philippines, most of the men offers a song to someone they admire. The traditional way of courtship is one of the most romantic in the world. 

There is an article entitled "Filipino Courtship: Traditional Vs. Modern". It states there that courting under Filipino tradition gives very big importance on the value of respecting the woman and her family and strictly adhering with proper rules set by society for pursuing a lady. One cannot just talk and approach a lady in the street and ask her number or address. If a young man sees a lady he likes he should seek out the help of a go-between, usually a common friend of both family, to ask the permission of the girls father whether he can visit them in their house. This is the gentlemanly thing to do so the parents will most likely approve unless of course the lady is just a child.

The author said that "This practice which dates back to the Spanish times prohibits men to be very aggressive or becoming even when they want the lady very much." (http://www.weddinginthesky.com/article/filipino-courtship-traditional-vs-modern.html)

B. Serenade

Most of the women would like to be serenaded. The feeling of being special to someone and offering them a wonderful and lovely song is definitely romantic. 

An article entitled "Harana" states that the process of courting a girl in the traditional sense is a long and arduous process. It is expected that a girl will play hard-to-get when court because that is the norm. No matter how much she likes the guy, she has to show the most restraint and disinterest. Girls are made to believe that guys will value them more if they are made to work hard before letting them have what they want.

The author said that "This is because we give high value to the women in our society and giving them away is not easy." (http://www.weddinginthesky.com/article/filipino-courtship-traditional-vs-modern.html)

C. Giving gifts 

Teddy bears, Chocolates, Flowers, and love letters are some of the things that men give to the girl they admire or like. It shows effort and sincerity. 

Dr. Peter Sozou and Professor Robert Seymour from University College London wrote an article entitled "Expensive but worthless gifts may help facilitate courtship". It states there that gifts can act as a signal of a man's intention and offering an expensive gift may signal a long-term commitment. Giving gifts by the men is a feature of human courtship and mating systems in a number of species. 

The author said that "Guys are less likely to offer expensive gifts to females they don't have a long-term interest in. And girls won't be impressed by cheap gifts. By offering expensive but worthless gifts, such as dinners and theatre trips, the male pays no cost if the invitation isn't accepted. Girls that don't find a guy attractive are less likely to take up the invitation because it would mean spending time with a person they aren't interested in." (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/28127.php)

III. Disadvantage of Modern Courtship

Even though modern technology has a lot of advantages in courtship, still, there are disadvantages in the usage of this in courtship. 

1. Internet Dating 

Online dating or also known as internet dating is an experience that allows individuals to contact and communicate with one another over the Internet. This experience is usually with the objective of developing a personal, romantic, or sexual relationship. Online dating services usually provide moderated matchmaking over the Internet, through the use of personal computers or cell phones.  

Ashia Sims wrote an article entitled "Internet Dating Pros and Cons". It states there that internet dating is often believed to be done only by really lonely, unattractive people who can't meet people due to some type of personal defect. In fact, many people that participate in Internet dating are regular people who are exploring other dating options. It can be a fun way to expand your current dating pool, but there can be potential issues with honesty and safety. When you decide to jump into the Internet dating world, you should always safeguard yourself. Safety is just as important in Internet dating as it is for real world dating.

She also said that "Internet dating isn't for everyone, but it is a viable way to expand the dating landscape if you're single and looking."

(http://www.ehow.com/facts_4796672_internet-dating-pros-cons.html)

Chapter 3

Summary, Conclusions, and Recommendations

Summary 

This paper aims to know the present state of courtship which includes the use of modern technology, its advantages and disadvantages. 

The research design used in this study is descriptive method wherein the data gathered from different reference materials such as articles and blogs that were found online were used to answer the following research questions that were stated. The research findings are the following:

1. There are two kinds of courtship; traditional and modern. 

2. Because of modern technology, courtship was made easier.

3. Despite the advantages of modern courtship, still, it has disadvantages.

4. Some people still use traditional ways of courting.

Conclusion

Based on the findings of this study, the following conclusions are drawn:

1. Modern courtship is the presently occurring way of courtship that affected the traditional way of courtship which was used before.

2. Modernization helped in making courtship a lot effective by means of advance technology.

3. This modern courtship affected the usage of traditional courtship, showing lack of importance in communication, effort and sincerity from the suitor.

4. Still, there are people who believe that traditional courtship is still an effective way of courting since it shows sincerity and effort.


Recommendations

 After coming up with the conclusions of the study, the researcher hereby make the following suggestions/recommendations:

1. As much as possible, girls should not apply courtship. 

2. Effort and sincerity are two important things men should show when courting a girl. 

3. Modern technology is not that bad but sometimes it may affect the communication between two people in a relationship.


References 

Electronic Media

"Courtship Patterns in the Information Age" by Christian Swertz
(http://www.medienimpulse.at/articles/view/474)

 "Love On The Run: The Next Revolution In Online Dating" by Jeff Bercovici
(http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffbercovici/2014/02/14/love-on-the-run-the-next-revolution-in-online-dating/)

"Mutual Understanding: What is it and what is it not?" by Douq Lassen Anderson
(http://ezinearticles.com/?Mutual-Understanding:-What-Is-It-and-What-Is-It-Not?&id=6393987)

 "Why Girls Shouldn't Wait For Guys To Make The First Move" by Natalie Brown
(http://www.sheckys.com/2013/04/15/why-girls-shouldnt-wait-for-guys-to-make-the-first-move/)

"Courtship in the Philippines Today" by Sarahgat

(http://sarahgats.wordpress.com/2009/03/29/courtship-in-the-philippines-today/)

"Expensive but worthless gifts may help facilitate courtship" by Dr. Peter Sozou and Prof. Robert Seymour

(http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/28127.php)

"Internet Dating Pros and Cons" by Ashia Sims

(http://www.ehow.com/facts_4796672_internet-dating-pros-cons.html)